Seizing Bait

Outside with a pole Hanging worms by the wrong end Beautifully done Russell Sivey

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Debbie Guzzi

Date: 9/15/2011 5:49:00 PM

Okies here we have nature..we can work with this...young fisherman/ lacing a worm on a stick/ empty fry pan...lines 1 & 2 must be grammatically connected NOT just conceptually [ps I do this badly and make mistakes with this often but I think the above example is OK] the single line..which comes after the cut is like a switch bringing the reader another aspect of the scene..try to leave the details in the readers mind..most of the haiku should be in the readers mind..not on the paper

Nette Onclaud

Date: 8/15/2011 12:30:00 PM

a ku with all its charm, russel.. come visit my shadorma poem; i have an invite for you.. yes?? :) huggs, nette

Sara Kendrick

Date: 8/15/2011 9:26:00 AM

Been there done that.. Always fun to see what takes the bait..Great write..Thanks for stopping by your review was uplifting..Sara

Elizabeth Wesley

Date: 8/14/2011 7:29:00 PM

Hi Rus, tried fishing but couldn't stand piercin a poor little worm with that hook. Hope you caught a good one. Interesting proposal below - good luck! Love, Lizzie.