Secret Confession
Surrounded by loved ones,
Never able to explain,
Destined to be alone
Constantly in pain…
'Inside I’m slowly dying’,
A line I once heard in a song,
So true it rings inside the deepest parts of my soul,
A soul I don’t believe exists.
Atheist to the core, once my few years of life ends I will leave this universe,
Unable to witness the countless eons to follow.
Often I think of how cruel evolution has been,
With such intelligence I have come to this conclusion,
We, mankind can never be truly happy,
For despite what life brings to us,
One thing is certain to follow everything…nothingness,
An eternity of complete and utter non existence.
Despite everything else,
Everyone we ever care about eventually goes to meet our so called maker,
This for me is unacceptable,
For the sorrow I feel has, and will always be far greater than any happiness I can imagine.
Grown into a strong man, tough and popular,
Why do I feel the pain of any suffering creature?,
Why do I shed a secret tear when reading the arbitraries of people I have never met?,
Or why does my heart ache just at the thought of the billions of tears cried since our first steps on the savannah?,
Constant internal conflict,
Wishing I could live for ever,
then never have lived at all,
Despising masses, even whole nations,
Yet caring for individuals.
A good job, good health, good friends and family and yet sorrow,
Only ever experiencing fleeting happiness,
Often beaten back by a tremendous pain,
A pain I have no right to claim,
Not when millions have lives much harder than I have ever experienced,
Yet I do.
This is my secret confession,
Surrounded by loved ones,
Never able to explain,
Destined to be alone
Constantly in pain…
Copyright © Lee Cavanagh | Year Posted 2010
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