Searching For Self

SEARCHING FOR SELF "I soak myself With thoughts of Fear, Meditating, quietly I hear, Nothing but, Echoes of Anger and wrath, I hear the ancestors, of yesterday, Long past, I had goals and plans To succeed But life was changed Once in captivity field I realized I couldn't Be me, I was only accepted When I was Becky, Went to college Study history lies Thought I had truth Until I started to cry The fountain of youth; Had to return An be re-schooled So much I learned I wonder why I spoke like them Everything I did Was to please them I often wondered When, and when, This life of bruises would finally end, Mental slavery Start giving in Again, I had hatred of self No pencil to erase, Just stained ink And pen, Of my ancestors days, From beginning to end Some still a slave Currency, a best friend So many sleep Un-awaken men Philosophy follow Oppresors trend, So much on my Mind Of life tragedies and Crimes, Like a clock I start to unwind My history, It was so unkind, A slave, been raped Worked cotton fields, Massa said do it Or thirty lashes it be I see my ancestors Burried by trees They've become the fertilizer The old peach trees, No one dares to eat A history I can't Repeat So I soak Putting my mind at ease As I recognize My Africa beauty, I pour out Start to be me I realese the lies And negativity,,, My mind bleeds New truth of me Causing new anxiety But I pause I see the real me I take a deep breath Relax and freeze I meditate and release This disease, Of lies they sold to me I am Africa That is me Jamaican, Haitian, American All we, Just dropped off Different places by sea, Still in captivity, So now I live And relax as me Brothas and sistas Same as me In diffrent countries I see me, I see we Our spirituality, Awaken unity, I see Africa, A true beauty" (c)2017 Copyright All Rights Reserved By Suzette Campbell aka Poetic Prophetess 9/15/17