Santa's Rights
'Twas the night before Christmas
and there was a heat wave
Poor Santa's beard itched him
The man was dyin' for a shave
But I've got a brand to protect
He reasoned with mirth
As he glued on his fake beard
and adjusted his girth
So Santa waddled shed-ward
to saddle up the reindeer
When his eyes lit on a sight
that ruined his whole year
Now just what did he see
that disturbed him no end
Why, he saw Mrs. Claus
in the arms of ten men
Those new elves he'd just hired
Millennials all
Handsome as hell
Every one over six-foot tall
What could he do
'Twas time to depart
How could he go out there
with a big broken heart
'Folks,' Santa shouted
'Whatever this looks like --
No presents this year
~ 'I'm going on strike!'
November 21, 2019
The Night Before 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Joseph May
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