Santa's Last Run

T'was the night before Christmas
and Santa was ailing
His joints were so sore
his eyesight was failing

He fretted about making 
rounds for the kids
as his aging old body
was down on the skids

He'd turned diabetic
from eating too hearty
And tipping the bottle
at the elves Christmas party

The gout in his toe
was really a pain
And the threat of Dementia
would drive him insane

Being a senior
and driving a sleigh
Meant there were few rest stops
through earth's milky way

A sickness of motion
and firey heartburn
Didn't sit well
old Santa would learn

Flying a sleigh after 
eating too well
Would cause Santa's poor belly
to grumble and swell

As for his heart
the elves constant bicker
Had taken a toll
on Santa's poor ticker

His blood pressure was high
from Mrs. Claus nagging
When he slept on the couch
she accused him of lagging

His son Santa Jr.
would take up the route
Next year in his Dad's
altered red and white suit

So a bedraggled old Santa
climbed into the sleigh
to make his last delivery
On this Christmas Day

And they heard him declare
as the sleigh rose up higher
Merry Christmas to all
I can't wait to retire!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2008



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Date: 1/15/2014 9:38:00 PM
VALERIE, :) Congrats, in the "Santa Claus" contest! Sweet winning poem. laterz ~SKAT~
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Date: 1/4/2014 7:14:00 AM
- Santa Claus, contest - sponsored by: Debbie Guzzi is drawn and Christmas is over - CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WINNING POEM, VALERIE ! - Now Santa Claus needs to take a well-deserved vacation :))) - oxox // Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 1/4/2014 5:36:00 AM
Hiya and congratulations Valerie xx
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Date: 1/3/2014 9:39:00 PM
And he didn't miss a sock or chimney. Hope Jr. does as well. Congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce
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Date: 1/3/2014 5:51:00 PM
Good effort, just hard for me to deal with a naughty Santa Claus. Nice flow, rhyme & meter! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
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Date: 12/17/2008 1:00:00 PM
HAHAHAHAHA...this is awesome - so clever and unique - I hope you entered this in John's contest. Thanks for the laugh on this (very) long day! much love.t
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Date: 12/12/2008 8:25:00 AM
Superb Valerie! Lotsa fun, with wondeful cadence and rhyming. A unique look at the king of the season... well done indeed! Best wishes, Keith
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Date: 12/11/2008 7:22:00 PM
There are a few of us who can relate to some of poor Santa's ailments!! No rest for the weary...and there are some occupations that have no retirement plan!! Cute poem Valerie!! ~ Carrie
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Date: 12/11/2008 6:16:00 PM
Great pen I hope this was added to the contest it is a sure winner
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Date: 12/11/2008 6:13:00 PM
Ps. I also heard he was upset with the reindeer's passing gas especially when he faced those south winds. Ho Ho Ho
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Date: 12/11/2008 6:10:00 PM
Valerie this is hilarious. I could not stop laughing you really brightened up my dull day GBU Val you are so talented and what a sense of humor. Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho. Michael
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