Shabana Hunte Poet Dramatic Verse

Sad

I was 16 at the time 
Love was plastered on my mind 
Never knew love from a man 
My daddy walked right out our lives 
Never looking back, you know 
He made himself a family 
Big house and fancy cars 
With a daughter named her Amonique
And see I….I was searching for that life 
My mother was on crack 
And she’d be busy by the night
But that’s how we made our money 
See you’re judging, that aint right 
No I wasn’t proud
But I accept it – it's my life


Now I met this boy one day 
He told me I was beautiful 
“I wonder if he means it”
There I go again – delusional 
He had me touching topics 
And my walls were tearing down with him 
Vibrations in his words 
I heard him clearly while he’s whispering 
He said “what you’ll do for me?”
Name it that’s what I will be
I thought I was in love 
I swear I thought this boy was meant for me 
Lyrically gifted 
His words were firmly scripted 
He knew just what to say and how to say it 
Kept me lifted 
He undressed me with his mind 
Penetrated what was pure 
He told me I was his
Nothing less and nothing more
“you’re special” – so he said 
 “I love you” – well ok 
You don’t leave the ones you love 
You make it work
You make them stay

Now I got his junior 
Mom is disappointed 
But you never thought to raise me 
In the image of a woman?
As you can see I have a choice 
My life has now been tailor-made 
Should I keep this ball of life 
Or send him back to where he came? 
*pause*
I kept him

I dropped out of school 
Its either him or the books 
This life thing is cruel 
Making money as I took
My friends – they were disgusted
The teachers – they looked down on me 
I was battling depression 
Suicidal thoughts were killing me 
Word they used were murderous  
Took some bullets now immune
If I never hear those words again 
I’d still say its too soon 
Figuratively I’m torn 
What you know about a whore?
What you know about a **** 
Talking bout keep my legs shut 
Do you know what it feels like 
To be throwing dirt on my name 
Im human and I hurt too 
Not excluded from the pain

I cry on lonely days 
Shed a tear when there’s a crowd 
Im breaking down all by myself 
I don’t know who’s still around 
I don’t know who wouldn’t judge me 
Who’d be here by tomorrow 
Who’d love me in conditions where 
My soul is numb and hollow 

I'm 28 
You just made 12 
Yes I love you dearly 
And were happy
All is well 
It was never meant to happen 
But I never say “regret”
Count my blessing by the boatload 
Count today and then reset

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Beata Agustin December 30, 2023 at 3:29 AM Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Meanwhile, I greet you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.

Pace Ink-U-Script November 1, 2019 at 7:09 PM Wow, I really enjoyed reading this aloud as if I was on stage. This is a heart-felt write!!! Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to read more of your work! INK