Sacred Sons
"Why, God?
So many Sacred Sons.
Some shining or burned caramel,
And some of pearl.
Some who loved their Mothers,
Some who I wanted to protect from them.
Many who I wanted to parent,
Many who I wished were my older brother who never came home.
So many I shared tears with,
And intimate moments.
The word love, exchanged with ease.
Conflict meaning instant distance.
This heart it opened,
And closed,
And opened.
And I listened, God.
I loved myself deeper,
Each time the cycle ended.
I emerged again, I applied the new.
I fell on my knees, time and time again.
My hands opened wider and my tears grew saltier.
Why, God?
I listened,
I followed.
Why is it never me?
Why does it never last?
Who was the Son I heard the song about in my heart?
The one from my visions?
Forever a chapter, always learning myself again.
How long have I been doing this?
How many lifetimes, God?
What am I missing?...
I met myself.
I guess it's time to do it again.
And again, God.
Some things I don't understand.
The list it grows.
The leverage to leave does also.
I love myself and I know myself.
Enough chapters, God.
I am tired."
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