Rum n Raisin 11 - One Hundred Million Years BC

Sneaking into the museum to avoid the sudden rain Raisin said, “I don’t want to get soaked right through again, It was bad enough when that truck through that puddle dashed And you and me - but mainly me - got well and truly splashed.” Rum said, “Well, we’re indoors now but just look over there That old guy must have got a drenching… judging by his hair.” The old guy tapped his ear, “I understand the words you say, I’ve made a voice translator and I’m speaking ‘Cat’ today.” Raisin looked at Rum and said, “I’d gladly have a flutter… He’s either a mad scientist… or else he is a nutter.” The crazy-haired old fellow said, “You know, you’re not that wrong, I’m testing out my time machine; why don’t you tag along?” Rum winked and said to Raisin, “There’s no time machine round here.” Raisin asked the old man, “Is it in your other ear?” The strange eccentric fellow said, “However did you know?” He rubbed his ear and said, “Hold tight… it’s time for us to go.” Exhibits in glass cases started shaking on their shelves The walls began revolving as the kittens braced themselves And then the man and Rum n Raisin sped through time and space And artefacts whizzed by them from some other time and place A pilgrim ship went sailing by with cowboys in her wake Mammoths, sabre-tooths and dodos by an ancient lake Sundials, clocks and calendars with times and dates a flipping Earthquakes and erupting mountains, lava spewed and dripping Railroad engines belching steam on rails that looped the loop Roman soldiers; Shakespeare’s face; a morris dancing troupe All of these and more flashed by until the world slowed down And when it stopped they glanced around - no building and no town The old man slumped against a tree while Raisin rubbed her head And Rum came up and said, “I can’t believe we’re not all dead. Where are we Mr Scientist, have people been before us?” But Raisin said, “Don’t bother him… just ask that Brontosaurus.” Sure enough a monster with a very lengthy neck Came stomping up toward them and the old man said, “O heck.” Raisin shouted, “Mister, can you get us out of here I think that now’s a real good time to rub again your ear.” The old man shrugged, he looked forlorn and said, “Be in no doubt… That I shall rub my earpiece… when I find where it fell out.” Rum glared at the scientist. “You’d best find where it’s at I fear that great big grey giraffe looks set so squash us flat And you’re not gonna find it up against that tree just sitting But have you got a name so I shall know who I am hitting?” The old man said, “I’m Eric; Eric Twiddle is my name I should have brought a spare because I have three more the same.” The monster’s head loomed over them and then let out a yelp Rum and Raisin said at once, “I think he just said ‘Help’.” Eric cried, “I think you’re right but we must run and hide There’s a Tyrannosaurus and his jaws are gaping wide.” The Brontosaurus dropped his head to look in Eric’s eye He said, “Please help me, Eric,” and he then began to cry The T. rex was approaching and his words came out like hisses “It’s supper time dear Bronto and the Doc can do the dishes.” “Lose the ‘tough guy’, Trexi,” said a voice from nearby trees and out walked a Triceratops with horns that came in threes “You always have to bully Bronto till he ups and flees Yet you could never catch him with your old arthritic knees.” Eric stood and said, “My friends, I’m glad to see you’re well, But I feel eyes upon me that intend to give me hell.” Rum, with one eye on the beasts, said, “Eric, tell me how, You know a grey Giraffe, a T. rex and a three horned cow!” Eric said, “I’m sorry but I have been here before My earpiece is still in my ear and not lost on the floor But Trexi, here has painful knees that often make him scream Which frightens all the dinosaurs… so I bring soothing cream Rum said, “You have friends and some of them are dinosaurs… If we have a party, then we’re having it at yours.” Raisin said, “It’s kinda neat, that we’re allowed to meet Monsters from the past that don’t see us as things to eat.” Bronto said, “Ahem, I wouldn’t wish to interrupt But that there T. rex can be awful nasty and abrupt I’m sorry that I’ve left a little accidental puddle But every T. rex looks the same and I got in a muddle.” Rum just winked at Raisin and his sister winked right back Each of them had thoughts that travelled on the self same track It isn’t every day you find some Brontosaurus tiddle So Rum n Raisin jumped in and they splashed down in the middle The three horned cow that future men would call Triceratops Said, “Eric, I hear hungry noises from a nearby copse You really should be gone before it comes in for the kill No kitten ever could be friends with a Pterodactyl Eric grabbed the kittens, and he quickly rubbed his ear “See you soon, my dino friends, for now, I’m outa here.” Once again the world became a whirly twirly scene Images flew by of things they knew but hadn’t seen A brief glimpse of a quill which signed the signature of Chaucer Followed by a fleeting image of a flying saucer Elephants and men in tents; a biplane dropped a bomb In its midst two kittens hoped to land where they came from As before, their world stopped spinning; everything slowed down They looked around to see they were in some unknown town Raisin said, “So tell me, Mister, where you think we are.” But Rum said, “Why not ask those people… in that flying car?” * Raisin simply said, “Old man?” and Rum just muttered, “Eric?” The old man scratched his head and said, “Perhaps it’s atmospheric.” He said, “We were so very near,” then quickly rubbed his ear And once again they sped through time in not a little fear Then, finally, they came down in among museum cases And gazed at strange exhibits with confusion on their faces Four kitten footprints - fossilised - had brought them close to cheers The sign read, “Strangely early - by a hundred million years.”