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Roofless

ROOFLESS


Incommensurable conditions

without shelter nor food,

winter storm clouds overhead

frigid chill deep within my bones,

a haphazard zipperless parka

down feathers withered ages ago,

trembling in the frost sans fire

hoping in the very least for

the kindness of a stranger

offering me a steaming

   hot cup of coffee,

sole thing affordable is nostalgia

if even that, dauntingly recalling a time when - -

snowflakes were still charming



Beng Homeless Contest - Seeker

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 10/28/2016 5:24:00 PM
Well done Paloma, so sorry it took me so long to get to it. I've been in Banff this week.
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Paloma P
Date: 10/28/2016 5:35:00 PM
Banff is the National Park, right? Must be gorgeous there this time of year. Thanks so much Richard.
Date: 10/27/2016 12:37:00 PM
That last two lines did it for me, the entire poem were fantastic but "if even that, dauntingly recalling a time when - - snowflakes were still charming" That says it all.
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Paloma P
Date: 10/28/2016 5:33:00 PM
Many thanks Chris, happy you appreciated those lines.
Date: 10/26/2016 11:06:00 PM
Very powerful, so much expression in relatively few lines. Congratulations!
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:54:00 AM
Many thanks Darren!
Date: 10/26/2016 10:12:00 PM
poignant lines...congrats on your win, paloma..huggs
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:53:00 AM
Much appreciated Nette, thank you.
Date: 10/26/2016 8:35:00 PM
Paloma. This is very good first person writing. I am enjoying all the winning homeless poems. That last line was a perfect ending! Congrats.
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:53:00 AM
Thanks Andrea!
Date: 10/26/2016 2:40:00 PM
I disagree w/Anthony, it does indeed feel desperate. Great empathy, Paloma. I know, because I've been homeless. And the nostalgia line is spot on. Love your work, lady. Keep loving and living, sharing and giving. Peace and love to you. RW
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:52:00 AM
Good to know you're no longer in that dire situation Freddie, thanks so much.
Date: 10/22/2016 4:37:00 PM
A beautifully sad write, well done for the contest, a winner
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:51:00 AM
Thanks BW.
Date: 10/22/2016 3:53:00 PM
Once, snowflake's promised fun. Now, a drift of dying. A shared walk to an impending moment. Roofless is kindless.
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:50:00 AM
It sure is, thanks Robert.
Date: 10/22/2016 10:25:00 AM
Reads very well but lacks the feeling of being desperate, ...Ian x
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Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:50:00 AM
Thanks Ian.
Date: 10/22/2016 9:32:00 AM
Hi Paloma, I was moved reading you this morning. It seemed so real. It was though you brought the reader right there with you. Good portrayal of someone that's homeless. I wish you luck in the "Homeless" contest. Thanks for visiting my page: -) Alexis
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Paloma P
Date: 10/22/2016 11:27:00 AM
Best compliment a poet could ever get, thanks so much Alexis. :)
Date: 10/22/2016 6:29:00 AM
As suspected. The last line drew a tear. Beautifully done Señora Poet
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Paloma P
Date: 10/22/2016 6:44:00 AM
Awh, I like crybabies on my poetry. :) Thanks Phillip.