Roofless

ROOFLESS Incommensurable conditions without shelter nor food, winter storm clouds overhead frigid chill deep within my bones, a haphazard zipperless parka down feathers withered ages ago, trembling in the frost sans fire hoping in the very least for the kindness of a stranger offering me a steaming hot cup of coffee, sole thing affordable is nostalgia if even that, dauntingly recalling a time when - - snowflakes were still charming Beng Homeless Contest - Seeker

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/28/2016 5:24:00 PM

Well done Paloma, so sorry it took me so long to get to it. I've been in Banff this week.

Paloma P
Date: 10/28/2016 5:35:00 PM

Banff is the National Park, right? Must be gorgeous there this time of year. Thanks so much Richard.

Chris Green

Date: 10/27/2016 12:37:00 PM

That last two lines did it for me, the entire poem were fantastic but "if even that, dauntingly recalling a time when - - snowflakes were still charming" That says it all.

Paloma P
Date: 10/28/2016 5:33:00 PM

Many thanks Chris, happy you appreciated those lines.

Darren White

Date: 10/26/2016 11:06:00 PM

Very powerful, so much expression in relatively few lines. Congratulations!

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:54:00 AM

Many thanks Darren!

Nette Onclaud

Date: 10/26/2016 10:12:00 PM

poignant lines...congrats on your win, paloma..huggs

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:53:00 AM

Much appreciated Nette, thank you.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/26/2016 8:35:00 PM

Paloma. This is very good first person writing. I am enjoying all the winning homeless poems. That last line was a perfect ending! Congrats.

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:53:00 AM

Thanks Andrea!

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 10/26/2016 2:40:00 PM

I disagree w/Anthony, it does indeed feel desperate. Great empathy, Paloma. I know, because I've been homeless. And the nostalgia line is spot on. Love your work, lady. Keep loving and living, sharing and giving. Peace and love to you. RW

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:52:00 AM

Good to know you're no longer in that dire situation Freddie, thanks so much.

Constance La France

Date: 10/22/2016 4:37:00 PM

A beautifully sad write, well done for the contest, a winner

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:51:00 AM

Thanks BW.

Robert Warlov

Date: 10/22/2016 3:53:00 PM

Once, snowflake's promised fun. Now, a drift of dying. A shared walk to an impending moment. Roofless is kindless.

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:50:00 AM

It sure is, thanks Robert.

Anthony Mark

Date: 10/22/2016 10:25:00 AM

Reads very well but lacks the feeling of being desperate, ...Ian x

Paloma P
Date: 10/27/2016 3:50:00 AM

Thanks Ian.

Alexis Y.

Date: 10/22/2016 9:32:00 AM

Hi Paloma, I was moved reading you this morning. It seemed so real. It was though you brought the reader right there with you. Good portrayal of someone that's homeless. I wish you luck in the "Homeless" contest. Thanks for visiting my page: -) Alexis

Paloma P
Date: 10/22/2016 11:27:00 AM

Best compliment a poet could ever get, thanks so much Alexis. :)

Phillip Garcia

Date: 10/22/2016 6:29:00 AM

As suspected. The last line drew a tear. Beautifully done Señora Poet

Paloma P
Date: 10/22/2016 6:44:00 AM

Awh, I like crybabies on my poetry. :) Thanks Phillip.