Romancing the Turtle

Romancing The Turtle A second or third party of unknown origin Fragmented theories, partially substantiated as of this hour Fully disclosed an encounter Between a man and a tortoise or turtle They told a tale to a friend of a friend Regarding an unnatural act as a fact Between a turtle and man caught in the act With a bottle of wine to seal the deal A relationship not condoned by the church As the man had no cloths on And whose name will remain undisclosed For the moment Due to the sensitive nature of the accusatory story We will take a snack break now. I need energy to continue There is no reason to doubt this account Since we can’t discount the sources Scores of sources from all over town Maybe one but who knows….maybe less And the tortoise or turtle for his defense Speaks no English and therefore it makes no sense To take this to trial In Florida as a matter of legal fact and consequence It is still illegal to sleep with alligators or porcupines Peculiar I guess in anyone’s mind Well that’s just fine and justice from behind But what about the poor other species? Who will protect them from naked men? And what if PETA finds out? As for me, I’m teaching my turtles English And keeping them safe in the house for good reason