Road Rage

(This is a fictional poem) I've encountered road rage over eighty times. My driving is so horrible that it's a crime. I totaled a car after driving when it snowed. I'm such a lousy driver that I drive on the left side of the road. When I drive at night, my chances of wrecking are increased. I once hit a car that belonged to a priest. I thought the priest would be forgiving and I thought I was home free. But he pulled me out of my car and beat the crap out of me. I practically invented road rage and I encounter it again and again. This gray wig I've started wearing makes people less likely to hit me because they think I'm a senior citizen. I've been cussed out, beat up, and once I was even shot. If you drive like me, get off the road because you don't want what I got.