Revenge of the Ants

Goodness gracious me, How can it be, The ant leader Posted that by decree, I was a traitor, And he Would pass punishment I could foresee What was in store Had to sit and steady my Nerves with beer shandy. It was a very hot day, Thirty-eight degrees centigrade, We were not by the sea, But it was easy you see, To keep cool By the pool Sitting on a high stool With a beer shandy In my hand, Listening to the hotel’s Resident band! My phone rang, It was my friend from Greece, She was sending me a Winter jacket made Out of sheep fleece, Oh don’t tease Me please. We talked for just Under an hour Said goodbye, Went back to my beer shandy, Life was just dandy. But oh deary me the ants Wanted to avenge And take revenge On me, as I picked up my Glass of beer shandy, Something seemed odd I took a gulp from my glass, And involuntarily forced To expel the contents From my mouth, Hundreds of ants were floating Dying, peeing, spitting It was most distressing, In my drink, I felt faint, But practiced restraint, Didn’t want the ants to Know that I was dizzy Even my hair was standing On end and became frizzy These industrious ants Had set a trap Determined to get back At me for telling humans About their plot to rule Planet Earth, their leader Raoul At the ready, creeping And crawling And nipping Away at my flesh. Doom spray I screamed Please spray them all Let them all die and fall, I had to tell of their plan, The world had to be prepared, And their secret shared, They began scurrying And fleeing From the spray, but muttering Their real revenge was close, They would be huge, and chew Us up and spit us out, use Us for fertilizing their gardens And as for me, I would be spat out constantly And would regenerate daily, So I was doomed, They promised to keep A wary eye on me, Oh well perhaps I could emigrate But they had this in mind, Devious little monsters, They would then immigrate And join with other ants From around the globe. I would never be Off the hook For them I was a real Baddie, a criminal, traitor And crook, Determined to expose Theirs superpowers To this planet, And perhaps many others.