Reporters Who Risk Life and Limb

...To Save Strays Deserve Lagniappe Ruff lee, e'er since aye waz za lil whippersnapper watt wit dis awful temper, yet obedient to a pooch loving Aleut til present moment, Asian ole mangy coot this hot day (woof faux pas dipping into animal shelter donated water bowl) filled to the brim with smoothie fruit flavored slaking, moistening, cooling, sans lallygagging tongue doth wipe phlegmy ooze away, where nearby a kazoo playing labradoodle accompanies mum muttering prettifying self, via quasi preening snout when squeezed automatically issues honky tonk sound imitating hoot, where passerine twittering fly night passersby toss bone fied token loot and a Norwegian bachelor farmer named Knute Rockne took immediate liking to yours truly, who when scratched itchy fur patches remained mute imparting unconditional love to petting man's best friend hoof right then and there Isaiah felt as top underdog momentarily distracted Fermi n Rico as petsmart necessary fix reduced to that as newshound junkie oft times in desperation shine shoes ala boot lix usually rewarded with bona fide prolix about such a docile mix breed to old for chase sticks to learn super champing cheap tricks.