Relief
You get to stay.
And suddenly I don’t have to wonder
how I was supposed to live without you.
I don’t have to think about you loving someone else,
or how I could ever love another person
the way I love you.
I never thought I’d react so strongly to news like this,
but for months I’ve felt this strange sadness
I couldn’t explain.
Everything in my life was going well,
I was winning tournaments,
going out with friends,
getting good grades,
receiving sports offers,
and somehow I still felt empty.
Teachers kept asking if I was okay
because I always looked exhausted.
And the strange thing was,
everything at home was fine.
I just felt sad all the time
and I never understood why.
But then you told me you were staying.
And suddenly the weight on my chest disappeared.
Maybe the reason I was hurting so much
was because I was terrified of losing you.
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