Jan Allison Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

Relatively Speaking

I've got one less relative than Snow White
alas, none of my six relations are a delight

Let me tell you about my cousin Regina
After childbirth, she's got a slack v'gina
She’s had a set of twins in May this year
Hubby’s impotence is her greatest fear

Her hypochondriac hubby, his name is Bill
says that he cannot work, claims he's too ill
But he’s fit as a flea, and I know he's faking…
he’s unable to work, but up for baby making!

Next up is where their trouble begins
with Boris and Donald their terrible twins  
They both rule the roost with a rod of iron
Regina can’t cope as they’re always cryin’

My brother Steve now calls himself Fred
He’s a total fruitcake who claims he’s dead
I treat all our conversations with derision
as out of the grave he’s frequently risen!

My bone idle sister she’s called Laura-Annie
folk can’t take their eyes off her huge fanny
she parades round in tight leopard skin pants
and the ground vibrates if she starts to dance

Six Relatives Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Caren Crutsinger

10/31/20

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Jennifer Proxenos November 3, 2020 at 9:06 AM You know what Jan, thank GOD we have our friends, some relatives are more like enemies than friends. We had a huge fall out with two of them who were just plain nasty!Sometimes you need to speak about them, it releases pressure from within us. Can understand how you feel 100% of the way! Blessings and love, Jennifer. Jan Allison November 3, 2020 at 10:07 AM Thankfully its just pure fiction ... well most of it and i'm not saying which lol:-) hugs jan xx

Mark Koplin November 3, 2020 at 3:36 AM That's in interesting bunch, never a dull moment I bet. Jan Allison November 3, 2020 at 10:06 AM pure fiction lol:-) just wanted a giggle:-) hugs jan xx

Kim Rodrigues November 1, 2020 at 10:39 AM Oh no those leopard skin pants! Jan Allison November 3, 2020 at 10:05 AM Thanks Kim:-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper November 1, 2020 at 9:07 AM Good one, Jan, Caren will love it. Hugs Eve Jan Allison November 3, 2020 at 10:05 AM Thanks Eve:-) hugs jan xx

Tania Kitchin November 1, 2020 at 7:59 AM Ha ha, on my Jan, that's quite the interesting family! hugs Jan Allison November 3, 2020 at 10:05 AM pure fiction ... well most of it lol:-) hugs jan xx

Gershon Wolf October 31, 2020 at 8:27 PM Sounds like you've got an 'absolute' menagerie there, Warden!! lol. Thanks for the chuckles, Jan. :) gw Jan Allison November 1, 2020 at 12:49 AM I would move and leave no forwarding address if it were true lol:-)hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen October 31, 2020 at 3:18 PM - I should happily be a fly on the wall with your family ... entertained family, Jan :) -Caren will love them all ... good luck :) - (We're having a real storm ... I think no one is celebrating Halloween ) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison November 1, 2020 at 12:46 AM Thankfully they are all fictional although a few lines are based on a family member:-( weather yesterday and today is terrible... no boats sailing there will be panic buying of loo rolls lol:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer October 31, 2020 at 2:14 PM you've nailed this one, jan and i think caren will love it! i sure do! Jan Allison November 1, 2020 at 12:45 AM I hope she likes it it was such fun to write:-) hugs jan xx

Victor Buhagiar October 31, 2020 at 2:01 PM You do have some peculiar relatives. ~~ Jan Allison November 1, 2020 at 12:44 AM ha ha ha - the only one who is near the mark is Annie -to be honest we have very few relations:-( hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham October 31, 2020 at 1:34 PM Imagine all them rolling up at your house Christmas morning lol I'd be off to join the foreign legion. Hope the day went well, we had terrible rain this morning, tail end of storm Aiden. Tom Jan Allison October 31, 2020 at 1:59 PM yeah where is the biggest increase in infection in the teenagers/ young adults/ unis:-( it beggars belief Tom Cunningham October 31, 2020 at 1:55 PM We'll contact the site tomorrow to see where we stand, the vote for the latest restrictions is Wednesday and I think it will be passed, uni 's and schools to remain open, I don't get that. Jan Allison October 31, 2020 at 1:40 PM Thanks Tom:-) weather been dire but we drove about 20 miles this morning to meet an ex colleague of hubbies, had lovely tea and cake in a cafe, came back to bright sunshine at home. Can you get away of is Boris's ban going to put an end to your plans.

Alexis Y. October 31, 2020 at 1:07 PM Lol! Jan, This is hilarious. That is one peculiar and interesting family. I enjoyed this humorous write. Best wishes in the contest:-) Alexis Jan Allison October 31, 2020 at 1:09 PM Thanks Alexis, believe me it was SUCH fun to write lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta October 31, 2020 at 1:07 PM You have written the winner! Well thought-out and scribed, Jan! (but I presume you referred to an American fanny?) Aloha! Rico Jan Allison October 31, 2020 at 1:08 PM shhh about her fanny Rico lol lol, i hope Caren likes the poem:-) hugs Jan xx