I held a blade to my arm last night,
Like I have many times before.
But this time ended differently,
Because this time the skin tore.
To others this might look bad,
Like I tossed 4 years down the drain.
Four years of being “sometimes” happy,
Was clearly driving me insane.
It felt good to hold a blade again,
Even better to feel it slice.
My emotions had broken through again,
Getting rid of them costs a price.
Although in some ironic way,
The cuts had healed my pain.
I know that I need a better way,
To safely numb my brain.
And that’s that honesty in this,
Recovery is one big mess.
But when everything is said and done,
I’ll marvel at my success.
Copyright © Allana Dold | Year Posted 2018
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