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I held a blade to my arm last night, Like I have many times before. But this time ended differently, Because this time the skin tore. To others this might look bad, Like I tossed 4 years down the drain. Four years of being “sometimes” happy, Was clearly driving me insane. It felt good to hold a blade again, Even better to feel it slice. My emotions had broken through again, Getting rid of them costs a price. Although in some ironic way, The cuts had healed my pain. I know that I need a better way, To safely numb my brain. And that’s that honesty in this, Recovery is one big mess. But when everything is said and done, I’ll marvel at my success. -A.D.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Date: 4/19/2018 8:54:00 AM
As someone who doesn't understand the emotional process within someone who cuts themselves it's not fair for me to say whether any one is moving forward or backwards. But I can say that if she feels she is still successful to me that's a good thing! Thank for sharing something rarely seen here Allana. And welcome to PS :)
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