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today i tried reiki and a woman with warm hands washed energy from my head to my feet with arms moving in figure eights. i lay on the table like a woman about to be cut in half and she ran up my spine in vertical lines no one ever cured someone by pushing air around but she seems so serious i can’t help but respect her. i close my eyes and feel still i can hear dogs–or are they coyotes? i want to be the breath behind their teeth i want to be the stone she holds between her palms. she tells me to sleep with amethyst under my pillow i tell her thank you she knew my knees were bothering me they hurt when they are straight. i wanted her to tell me what was wrong with my mind but i guess my knees are a start and amethyst can’t hurt, anyway what else can you do when you’re this desperate?

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