Rehashing History: War Stories

Attila, Hannibal, and Genghis Khan Were comparing the many battles they'd won. Hannibal boasted o'er the Alps he had coasted On elephants and conquered the Romans. Khan's hordes did maraud both at home and abroad In places they'd ne'er make their home in. When Attila's turn came, he said, "I'm to blame For campaigns that make you look like babies. Of God I'm the scourge, just like lint is to serge, And I'll brook me no ifs, buts, or maybes. How these guys (very unheroically) ended up: Genghis Khan fell off his horse and died of his injuries; Attila died of a massive heart attack on his wedding night after a huge feast of celebration; and Hannibal died of suicide by poison.