Regrets

Its five am on the open seas But I've lost all sense of days or time I keep pretty much to myself out here My only playground is my mind Owners push for efficiency To the point that sleeps just an ugly word And to ask for leave for events at home Is just considered completely absurd I've missed children taking first steps And many birthdays have passed me by My chair is vacant for Christmas dinners If I'm still loved i wonder why. My room is smaller than a jail cell Most times there's no signal on my phone I read Gods word to find some peace But i feel very much alone. I've lost lovers who could wait no longer Who found another's arms to hold at night I've returned to empty houses To live out my lonely plight When i was young i wanted adventure To sail free on lofty seas I've seen many ports and cities Where ships have carried me My life is full of let downs and broken dreams Perhaps my career choice was not so wise To those who counted on me to be there for them Please forgive me for the time i have denied.