Refund, Please

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You can take back my adulthood
          I don't want it anymore
               Please rescind responsibilities
     My (horrific) credit score ...

I have no use for maturity
          Expectations, "Dreams Come True"
               Accomplishments and wisdom
     Take back those, (and taxes, too) ...

I've no need for graying follicles
          Creaking bones or RX plans
               And that horrid label "middle-aged"?
     FAR more than I can stand ...

Loss of teeth and twisted digits
          Startling bursts of gas, et al
               Santa bellies, moles and crow's feet
     They're just killing my morale ...

This affliction they call "turkey neck"
          Double chins and mem'ries, dry
               (Each time I find myself somewhere
     I'll be damned if I know why) ...

Losing friends because of politics
          Or who takes the better meds
               Whose brood is most prolific
     (Can we do a count of heads?) ...

This "senior" thing is for the birds
          Not worth its weight in gold
               So I'd like a refund on my age
     I'm damn SICK of getting old ...

Please, I want to be a kid again
          With no worries, goals, or bills
               I'd rather be tagged "immature"
     Than "older than the hills" ...

I have studied this "decrepitude"
          How it's changing me and friends
               Thus I'm swapping my Life's Story ...
     I don't like the way it ends.

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