Reflections of Resilience

Originally titled Diary of the (Un)broken I wrote down what you did to me in detail, That way I can't confuse it I know I did not give my trust For you to abuse it. How's a man to hurt a woman for his own amusement? That makes one of us laughing, But leaves me trying not to lose it. And for a while, I forgot how to feel. I lay in bed and let my blankets shroud me in denial, And I'll admit, I almost let myself believe you When you said I wanted it. When I tried to push you off me, I wasn't strong enough. And when I thought that you were done, You hadn't had enough. Yes, it's been rough, And the replay running through my head Isn't helping. But I have to be strong, For me. I have to hold on To me, Though I may never be the girl I used to be. I know it's not my fault, And you are a bastard For making me master the art Of falling apart and faking a smile for the masses. And the most disastrous part, I've known from the start, Is that from the pain in my bed came a pain in my head and it haunts me. I just want peace. I just want peace for myself. And not to be weak, or meek, or mild, or mousy. I want to rage. I want to break free from this cage And this pain you have caused me. I want to be free Of my mind and my memory. Here lies my memories.