Reflections of Resilience
Originally titled Diary of the (Un)broken
I wrote down what you did to me in detail,
That way I can't confuse it
I know I did not give my trust
For you to abuse it.
How's a man to hurt a woman for his own amusement?
That makes one of us laughing,
But leaves me trying not to lose it.
And for a while,
I forgot how to feel.
I lay in bed and let my blankets shroud me in denial,
And I'll admit,
I almost let myself believe you When you said I wanted it.
When I tried to push you off me,
I wasn't strong enough.
And when I thought that you were done,
You hadn't had enough.
Yes, it's been rough,
And the replay running through my head
Isn't helping.
But I have to be strong,
For me.
I have to hold on
To me,
Though I may never be the girl I used to be.
I know it's not my fault,
And you are a bastard
For making me master the art
Of falling apart and faking a smile for the masses.
And the most disastrous part,
I've known from the start,
Is that from the pain in my bed came a pain in my head and it haunts me.
I just want peace.
I just want peace for myself.
And not to be weak, or meek, or mild, or mousy.
I want to rage.
I want to break free from this cage
And this pain you have caused me.
I want to be free
Of my mind and my memory.
Here lies my memories.
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