Recorded Emotions-F

Usually, there are sounds and expressions of grief upon being informed of a passing. Each family member's passing ignited a sound or brief words that identified the emotion of the moment, unique to each one. Case in point: My mother's death in March of '98. My pager sounded, and at the next exit, I pulled off the freeway and called my office. When my supervisor said that I should call home right away, I knew that the news was not good. I phoned home, and my wife informed me of my mother's passing in Chicago. There was a calming, numbing, and pausing. Then I quietly uttered my first words, "Mama's gone". Case in point: The death of my oldest sister in '99. A call came from a younger sister stating that our sister would not survive the head injury she incurred from being hit by a car on a Chicago Street. She was all but brain dead at the time, and realizing her impending death, words ceased, and I went ballistic. A 'deep gush of grief and sorrow' overwhelmed me with loud crying, and I could barely breathe. Case in point: The death of an older brother in the Spring of 2003. A call came from St. Louis, informing me of my brother's death. Very subdued when I got the news, a numbing silence swept over me. The only words I remember uttering were, "Oh Calvin". Case in Point: In December of 2003, a call came informing me that a younger sister in Indiana had passed. I was 'speechless'. My grief was deep without a word but a silence of sadness. Case in point: Word came in November of 2012 that another sister in Indiana had passed. I was fortunate enough to have spent some quality time with her earlier in the summer of that year. I was with her as she battled for her life during hospice care. Although the doctor had given her very little hope, she seemed to be on the winning side when I departed for home. Four months later, she died. When I received the fateful call of her demise, all that I could utter was, "Huh". It was a grunt of bewilderment. It was a grunt that said, "O Lord, I thought she was going to beat that cancer". I could not speak my grunt, but God read my spirit and understood every word. "Huh". 040817PoSpCtest, Strand Choice N, Brain Strand(3/21/20)