Really

Don't get a bug in your butt because I like to eat So it's none of your business if I can't see my feet My tee shirt on the line looks like a sheet While driving, my right hip's in the passenger seat One serving of ice cream just won't do So I buy a half gallon, it contains two I'd tie my laces but I can't reach my shoe I bought a diet book and I ate that too Really, I think I should take some weight off soon When I bend over the neighbor sings Allegheny Moon When I start breakfast at eight, I finish by noon When I wear corduroy pants, they play their own tune I'm sick of TV shows saying I gotta be thin I'm very well rounded for the shape that I'm in When I touch my knees I display a horizontal grin If there's a pie eating contest in town, you know I'd win Really, I ordered a pizza because pizza is great I told him to slice it in six because I couldn't eat eight Really, don't call me names, that's something I hate But if you call me for dinner, I'll never be late