Reading the Past Pt1

Reading the past of written words Remembering the verses of each feeling that had me believing of a curse Slowly, being given images of reason After siezures had me forgetting Time, people, places as well things What's the purpose of this being? Tears drop as my thoughts be needing An understanding Without holding information But I stop in mid-motion Refusing to allow you to abuse My true nature that I gave to you You laugh and down grade my person When not once I had pulled that curtain To be who you had exclaimed me to be to your face or behind your back Your brain lacks The humanity of which I shown Actions I had constantly gave you blown And twisted in the lies your brain leaked On this page of which all you speak EM I loved you to no end You're the one who couldnt see how the liquor you dranked had bend My soul Confusing my mind with devotion, loyalty or to be cold as coal Treacherous emotions you stained From the walls that you created between us like a hypocrite Because of this is why we didnt make it The words you spit of being a beast As an excuse to make me weak Feeling sorry for how I felt after toxicity and blindness We had 3 losses an one of them you believed were someone else's Gloating of ignorance Looking to be applauded for after the masses you display of me being promiscuous When I wasnt, i was yours and yours only Faithful and true but that proves it so lets just be honest you truly didnt know me Now did you? Yet you sit there and try to proclaim being the victim After bruising my eye even Holding me down against my will Thinking in my head you were going to hurt me now physically too that could possibly kill Not just my soul anymore but my own gods gracious breath But I'm selfish? I begged and pleaded for you to stop drinking time and time again But then We turn our backs on each other Eventually after time passes trying to be friends with one another You hear my tears of yet another ignorant mother trucker Treating me as you did I lost my way of gods bid No, at that point I wasnt yours anymore I couldnt focus on being me either my face was on the floor Literally, not figurely speaking of showing you pictures of marks and bruises of yet what someone else did besides you Yet you sit here an state of being a shadow waiting graciously during that time, uff that too You HAVENT been there for me but what, to listen? Seeing my blood glisten Just wasnt enough to show me a change In which to help me stand against and take range