Quack's Progress

Arriving from unknown somewhere He set up clinic in the market square Declared he could cure any disease Using herbal drugs of plants and trees Townsfolk being credulous Soon to his shop began to rush Diabetics, rheumatics, asthmatics flooded None over his degree brooded A few weeks later, afloat was this rumor He cures for he rightly detects the humor Realizing that every client is a prospective fan He talked in technical terms even with laymen He would expose his victims to numerous medical terms Also trade-names, contents, firms, diseases and germs Just to exhibit erudition and sound philosophy Without occasion he embarked on learned topics Often dwelt on sedatives and epilepsy Or discoursed at length on tumor and biopsy Then in a torrent of rodomontade would relate Histories of cases cured with specific names and date Discourses full of references to Ayurvedic treatises Madhav, Charak, Susrut and other varieties To prove his point he recited aloud original excerpts As a result ,he soon won the epithet: "expert of experts" "Discourteous ingrates! They even do not thank Though I give 'em new life" exclaimed the mountebank. Always eager to spar against allopathy At the slightest provocation he would lecture on allopathic hazards Or would lament on untidy hospitals and unhygienic wards Boldly averring: "To hide anything from patients is a deadly sin" Within no time he became a celebrity His tricks worked and brought him publicity After a year DHO came to see him in person And sought his counsel for his sick son A minister's car at his doorstep halted Just to enhance libido and weakness treated He gave the minister powerful mercury dust Which triggered his vigor and inflamed his lust Then to CM's ears reached his fragrant fame Who called him secretly telling him not to declare name MPs in turn heard of this rare phenomenon And turned up to consult him one by one Director drug control came to seek his advice For chronic dysentery and perennial bronchitis At length PM had to send him his compliments For service to nation and" particular "patients The whole world acknowledged him as master of his craft But a person knew his truth in his own staff His compounder knew his master was a fake But he swallowed the secret for heaven's sake