Jennifer Hanebuth | + Follow Poet |
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Puzzles Have Patterns

i am an alcoholic addict
chemical dependent
co dependent
my life is unmanageable
cannot control
anything without something

so i joined the army
went to missouri
saw the woods
same as the ones i drank in
and got lost in back home
but did well
because i was familiar with hell

went to mississippi
belonged for a moment
hard core soft shell
hurricale hit
did what i could but did
it for myself had my own agenda
because i was familiar with hell

went to california
took another go
at it and built a training site
same as the one i built when i was
young and in trouble and fell
because i was familiar with hell

came back to missouri
to shoot my m16a2r
we were supposed to go camping
but it was too cold
just like my dad said when i was three years old
and like i cared or complained it was just as well
because even then
i was familiar with hell

i went to an airport
drank a gibson
to forget the troubles that i saw
how i did my own laundry 
went from sugar to something worse and i won't tell
because i was familiar with a place called hell

a blizzard hit my state
the day after thanksgiving
and i said yes i'll be there
it will give me a chance to help
all i did was drink and dance
and do things i had regret for
but oh each day i'd sell
because i was familiar with hell

so i moved and moved back 
met a few guys
i despised, and hated me back
so i drank and met someone who let me
and now i'm in mexico under someone's spell
because i was familiar with hell

so i say all these things
happened to me
by choice
and not listening to that little voice
that says stop 
wait a minute
think about it
and all i could do
is tell
that little voice
it's just as well
i already know because i've made and chosen
for myself
a life familiar with hell

Copyright © Jennifer Hanebuth | Year Posted 2006

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