Pussycat, Where Have You Been?

Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been? That I've been to London to see the queen? Do you want that version I told your mom? What went down was a much different scene than the tale that kitten ate off my paw'm. Pussycat, pussycat, tell me some more! Well, sonny, it was just after the war. I joined a circus as an acrobat, flying high in the air - I sure could soar. Some cats land on their feet. I fell flat. Pussycat, pussycat, what happened next? With four legs in a cast, man, was I vexed. I needed ten shillings for catnip snacks. So, I scratched my head fur.  I was perplexed, and took a job blowing a wailing sax. Pussycat, pussycat, that sounds so cool! Sure, it does, but I was a crazy fool, and wound up with a catnip addiction. I wish I had been good and stayed in school, and not gone to jail with a conviction. Pussycat, pussycat, don't make me cry! Out of jail, I cleaned up, 'til I got high from a weird mushroom from a white rabbit, and then found out that unicorns can fly. 'Twas better, at least, than my old habit. Pussycat, pussycat, you lost your mind! I didn't know my front paws from my hind, as I joined the cult of Morris the Cat. Like a ball of yarn, my head would unwind as my deprogrammer erased all that. Pussycat, pussycat, tell me the truth! It's not what I told your mom in her youth, but, frankly, my kit, that was all just crap. I'm done with tea - pour me gin and vermouth, and then, if you please, I'll take a cat nap.