Proximity

Before we part, be close to me-
As close as sand is to the sea,
As close as leaves are to the trees:
As close as close as we can be

I want you near, like Dawn's first light-
As near as Stars are to the Night,
Near as birds ere taken flight:
Near to me as eyes to sight

*BELOVED contest entry in Rhyme.
Username: JustThatArchaicPoet

I love this poem because I believe it is one of the best poems I have ever written. Every time I read it, I remember for whom I wrote it, and why. I think this piece conveys a universal sentiment of the human condition: that we all desire the closeness of someone we love, or once loved.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013



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Date: 8/6/2014 9:19:00 PM
Hi Chan,, Congratulations!!! :) On having your poem featured this week. Stopping by to say hi, and greet almost every poem, on the Poetry Soup's home page. Enjoy having your poem for all to read. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
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Date: 9/29/2013 12:08:00 PM
Excellent, jtap. Nice going. Congrats. Ralph
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/29/2013 3:31:00 PM
Thanks you, Ralph! I appreciate you taking time to drop by and say that :)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/29/2013 3:31:00 PM
lol *thank you
Date: 9/29/2013 7:32:00 AM
what a lovely poem you have penned, congrats on your win :)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/29/2013 8:23:00 AM
Hi, Sandra; thank you so very much; I do appreciate it :)
Date: 9/28/2013 2:28:00 PM
J.t.a.p, love your winning poem ......... LOVE ~SKAT~
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 3:22:00 PM
Thank you so much, Skat; I appreciate your kind words :)
Date: 9/28/2013 2:02:00 PM
Congratulations, a very well deserved win. Perfectly penned :)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 2:14:00 PM
Thanks, hon! <3
Date: 9/28/2013 11:44:00 AM
Great job !! Very nice write ..Congratulations ..yvette
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 12:34:00 PM
Thank you, Yvette! I appreciate it so very much :)
Date: 9/28/2013 5:23:00 AM
Congrats on the win in the contest,
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 9:30:00 AM
Thanks, Doc! It was the first time I placed so I am thrilled! :)
Date: 9/27/2013 8:50:00 PM
I agree, we all need our loved ones close to us at all times. However, they are not far from us if we just remember them. This poem was beautifully written! Congratulations on your win!
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 9:31:00 AM
Thank you, dear sis! How ironic given the last message I sent you! LOL!
Date: 9/27/2013 7:47:00 PM
J T Archaic Poet, Congratulations on your "Beloved Poem" win. xox~ LINDA
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/28/2013 9:32:00 AM
Thanks so much, Poet D.! I appreciate you dropping by to leave me a comment. This has really made my morning :)
Date: 9/13/2013 7:06:00 PM
What a lovely love poem. great write!
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 9/14/2013 11:14:00 AM
Much appreciation, Jon; thanks for making me smile :)
Date: 8/19/2013 11:07:00 PM
A very lovely and sensual poem. I often have problems lines ...like almost all of them... rework until it fits like a glove (to you). I really like your style...welcome to the soup and thank you for all of the glowing comments on my poetry :)
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/19/2013 11:17:00 PM
A million thanks to all of you; you all have renewed my faith in true poets of the highest caliber. Most everyone here is immensely talented and I have been beyond impressed. Karen, you are quite talented, and you have inspired me so much tonight just by reading your awesome pieces :)
Date: 8/19/2013 12:10:00 PM
I suppose I just got so caught up in the beauty of the poem that I honestly didn't notice the line. I think I would take Richard's suggestion. Regardless, Your message is well stated..... Love ya.... Jake
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Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/19/2013 4:39:00 PM
I really just can't get over how nice and supportive everyone here is; it's never been like this on any other site I've joined. Seems like they're all condescending "Poet Nazis" lol. Thank you, John :)
Date: 8/19/2013 7:38:00 AM
It is a problem line, and I have often reworked it many times. While I like your suggestion, it throws off the beat. I welcome any and all suggestions to make the line better. Thanks for all reads and responses :)
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Date: 8/19/2013 7:29:00 AM
Near as birds to sky when taking flight
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/19/2013 7:31:00 AM
I meant for not fo.
Lamoureux Avatar
Richard Lamoureux
Date: 8/19/2013 7:30:00 AM
Love the poem it was just the one line that did not work fo me. Please accept my humble suggestion.
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