Home » Poems » Richard Lamoureux » Preventable

Preventable

My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
I am struggling hard to stay awake
On a long drive in the pouring rain 
I feel I am being hypnotized 

I am struggling hard to stay awake
I turn the air conditioning on full blast
I feel like I am being hypnotized 
I will just close my eyes for a moment

I turn the air conditioning on full blast
Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I will just close my eyes for a moment
As my car drifts I awake with a start

Taking my hand off the wheel I slap my face
I must be mad yet I need to get home
As my car drifts I awake with a start
I am no longer traveling on the road 

I must be mad yet I need to get home
The car is now beyond my control
I am no longer traveling on the road
In this moment there are no more choices

The car is now beyond my control
On a long drive in the pouring rain
In this moment there are no more choices
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod

On a long drive in the pouring rain
My life blood pours from my veins
My eyelids droop my head begins to nod
My life slowly yet quickly ebbs away

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 7/6/2013 9:15:00 AM

Scary thoughts that you have penned..I hope not a happening in your life but just a work about the topic..Thanks for the visit to my work..Your opinion is important to me..Sara

Cherie Thomas

Date: 7/6/2013 7:11:00 AM

Hi Rick!!! Theres such an intense feeling, reading each line, wondering whats next, really gets the heart pumping lol just a fantastic read, preventable. Its a honest truth, to not drive, when in that condition. a vital message in this poem!!! I also love your form of writing....a fascinating, joy to read....cheriex

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/6/2013 7:32:00 AM

Thanks Cherie, the poem I wrote for you is a modification of this form.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/3/2013 1:35:00 PM

wow, this is a powerful one, my friend. You are a poet to be reckoned with . GREAT use of poetry to get across an important message.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/3/2013 4:38:00 PM

Thanks Andrea. Hugs Rick

Cecilia Macfarlane

Date: 7/3/2013 8:25:00 AM

Powerful write Rick! The need to get home will never be realized....so sad. We all experienced this feeling, awesome job putting it into words. Hugs

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/3/2013 8:47:00 AM

Thanks Cecilia, hugs Rick

Ruby Honeytip

Date: 7/3/2013 4:20:00 AM

I've always wanted to write in this form Richard. You have tackled such a dark and familiar scene with this one. Really impressive work.....Love Roobs xxx

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/3/2013 5:25:00 AM

You should give it a try, I am sure you would do well.

Donna Jones

Date: 7/2/2013 9:33:00 PM

I hate it when this happens..getting so sleepy driving...you captured the experience well..let's hope we pull over before the last line..great job Richard

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 9:34:00 PM

I use to drive a lot for work, I hate this feeling.

Colleen Bono

Date: 7/2/2013 3:48:00 PM

This sadly happens everyday.Well done.I posted one for PD.Love Colleen

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 9:15:00 PM

Good job on the poem Colleen.

Manel Gunatillake

Date: 7/2/2013 1:11:00 PM

wow, you are really good in Pantoum form. You should have stopped for a while.. I wrote something may be I was little frustrated over some people behavior, read and let me know how you felt.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 9:15:00 PM

Thanks Manel.

Nette Onclaud

Date: 7/2/2013 12:12:00 PM

wonderful drizzle of images taps this page, richard... incredibly done!..;) huggs

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 9:17:00 PM

Thanks Nette, hugs back to you

Heather Ober

Date: 7/2/2013 8:14:00 AM

WOW, Rick!! I know how difficult this form is, yet you made it look easy. Great topic choice as well.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 9:20:00 PM

Apparently the form is supposed to be obscure but I really like it. I also enjoy the terzanelle. If not for the soup I would be unfamiliar with all forms. This place has been my poetic Education.

Kim Van Breda

Date: 7/2/2013 7:24:00 AM

Haven't we all experienced this dangerous phenomenon . Long distances with the obstinate determination to arrive ETA. The consequences could be disasterous. You have predicted this well in this Pantoum.

Richard Lamoureux
Date: 7/2/2013 7:31:00 AM

I had a friend who worked late fell asleep and drove into the back of a parked car. Fortunately he was okay.