Prayers
Begging for hours and hours for an answer that won't be found but I can't bear thinking the same faith over and over again believing I would be free from this madness
Sweet quotes from a book giving me hope nobody can give but hurting myself to be able to run to a church to hear the sweet words to rely on just makes me sick
The church just feels like an escape to express my secrets, and lose money I never needed but the quotes.. The lies.. Arent the things I've heard before but it feels so sweet and I feel so lost in my mind
Christ save me from the pain given to me, the church's lies and touch haunts me forever, touching me until I vomit the lust I felt was like a sin to me I was afraid god would be disappointed in me but he was never there to begin with
So to those who believe in Christ, am I a sinner? Am I making you sick? But I do know is I'll never be the kind of angel god expects me to be no matter how much I ask for forgiveness, I can't handle the pain and torment god gave me to worship
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