Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Position Impossible - Bawdy Limerick

Position Impossible - Bawdy Limerick

Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred
Let’s attempt the starfish in bed
Old Ethel insisted
Till Fred’s back got twisted
They best stick to sleeping instead!

05/30/21

humorouslimerick

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Jack Horne

June 4, 2021 at 1:22 PM

A great standalone limerick too LOL

Jan Allison

June 5, 2021 at 11:00 PM

thanks Jack xx

Jennifer Proxenos

June 2, 2021 at 12:18 PM

Oh wow - Fred's luck he didn't have to visit an Orthopedic Surgeon, very enjoyable poem my friend. Take care, Love and blessings, Jennifer.

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:23 AM

thanks jennifer if you see today's poem it is now a collaboration with the amazing Tom Cunningham:-) hugs jan xx

Mark Koplin

June 2, 2021 at 5:12 AM

Lol, I love it Jan!

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:22 AM

thanks Mark, nowt wrong with a bit of bawdiness in limericks lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lindsay Laurie

June 1, 2021 at 9:45 PM

Hello Jan … they’ve got to stop reading the Kama Sutra in bed. Uncle Fred might get a few visitors in hospital asking for lessons - another beauty Jan - Lindsay

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:22 AM

LOl Lindsay, tom and i have made it into a collaboration - it mentioned karma sutra but got changed to calmer suture lol:-) Fred may end up with stitches lol:-) hugs jan xx

Mike Gentile

May 31, 2021 at 1:08 PM

OMG Jan and I have an Aunt Ethel and images you made me conjure are well .... Loved it xxoo

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:21 AM

Hope she's not maried to fred, Tom and i have now done a collaboration on this poem lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

May 31, 2021 at 11:36 AM

Sometimes, too many leg-ups can cause problems...but most people may never know as we ban pornography to focus on war, murder, mayhem and racism - God forbid anyone might see black and white getting a long ...Thanks for the laugh! Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:20 AM

write on or is it right on Rico:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

May 31, 2021 at 6:04 AM

Lol they should stick to wrestling instead :) Hope you are all keeping well...unless you've been paying attention to all the suggestions down below!! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:19 AM

Thanks Paul, we are all well hope you and the family are too, Tom and I have made it into a collaboration:-) hugs Jan xx

Edward Ibeh

May 31, 2021 at 4:49 AM

Haha, ouch! It's best to be careful from now! Funny one, Jan:-)

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:19 AM

Thanks Edward, Tom and I have made it into a collaboration:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

May 31, 2021 at 4:19 AM

Lol, sounds like the end of the road Jan, Cup of horlicks then lights out. Tom

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:18 AM

Thanks for the push I needed not done a collab in a long while lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham

May 31, 2021 at 4:20 AM

PS, this would make a great collaboration, nudge nudge.

Victor Buhagiar

May 31, 2021 at 1:07 AM

Poor old couple. Arthritis must have stopped them.

Jan Allison

June 3, 2021 at 5:18 AM

lol thanks Victor:-) hugs jan xx

L Milton Hankins

May 30, 2021 at 6:22 PM

Oh, I can see how that could happen! Good one, Jan. Trying to sleep with a twisted back can also be problematic, methinks. Did you know that Fred and Ethel did not get along when they were making the I Love Lucy episodes? Just a bit of trivia there.

Jan Allison

May 31, 2021 at 12:28 AM

I don't think I ever saw one episode lol its just names I came up with to try and get over the fact they are old:-) just loving the comments:-) hugs jan xx

Gershon Wolf

May 30, 2021 at 5:06 PM

I noticed, amazingly enough, that the 'heroes' of this limerick are named Fred and Ethel. I immediately pictured that aging couple on 'I Love Lucy,' Fred and Ethel Mertz! That gave me quite a howl, I'll tell you. Thanks, Jan! ~ Still chuckling, gw

Rico Leffanta

May 31, 2021 at 11:35 AM

Aren't you the least bit surprised Gershon is not in India researching the temple walls for wheelbarrow instructions?

Jan Allison

May 31, 2021 at 12:27 AM

It was just 2 random names I pulled out of the air lol I wanted to make folk think of an elderly couple lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Terry Flood

May 30, 2021 at 4:10 PM

I’ve had a bad back for weeks... been blaming it on gardening... now I’m not so sure. To think, all this time I’ve been avoiding ‘the wheelbarrow’. Thanks for the witty diagnosis Jan. Terry

Jan Allison

May 31, 2021 at 12:26 AM

ha ha ha you two are hilarious:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

May 30, 2021 at 5:08 PM

Oh, Terry -- not the wheelbarrow. Oh, please, try the 'Double-Twist-Pretzel-Knot' before the wheelbarrow. Please! lol. ~ gw

Alexis Y.

May 30, 2021 at 3:32 PM

Lol! Jan, How do you come up with these hilarious Limericks? Ouch! Reading this made me laugh out loud.Ethel and Fred made me think my one of my favorite classic TV shows (I Love Lucy). Well done:-)Alexis

Jan Allison

May 31, 2021 at 12:25 AM

I chose the names at random lol i have heard of the show but don't think I ever saw it lol:-) I woke up with the first 4 lines in my head lol i never know when inspiration will hit lol:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh

May 30, 2021 at 3:11 PM

They should’ve tried ‘the hook’ to warm up Jan before the ‘starfish’ now it’s the ‘helicopter’ to the hospital, great bawdiness again lol, cheers David

David Kavanagh

May 30, 2021 at 3:34 PM

Leave Ethel and Fred to the good old missionary, The more complex stuff is for the contortionists!

Jan Allison

May 30, 2021 at 3:18 PM

someone recently made a comment about a starfish so it must have been on my mind - woke up with the first 4 lines in my head lol:-) hugs jan xx