Poison Dagger
My dagger used to be drawn
as innocent poison flowed from my parted lips,
hatred to carry on
I cursed your name
your love was sour in my Shame.
Why can't I recall those horror images that drove me into someone else's arms?
Why am I again falling for your charms?
I play innocent, but the poison flows deeply within my veins.
I talk sweetly, but I'm more than aware of how to play this dangerous game.
Chance circumstances brought you back into my view.
After I swore I was done with you.
You've opened Pandora's box
places in my heart and soul that for so long have been locked.
I pushed you out of my heart and replaced them with bitterness.
Turned away from any smile you might show as to not show weakness.
But I can't turn away from you, you're like a drug I can't quit
You are an addicting habit.
I'm afraid if I get too close to you, even as a friend,
I know I will just get hurt in the end.
I'll have to get over you again.
Every innocent word is a dagger driven deep into my core
even though I vehemently claim I don't love you anymore.
I let you go once and moved on with my life
became someone else's love and wife;
Listening to your sweet words that I hide, are breaking my vow
I have to find a way to walk away from you again somehow.
Your words, your voice, should turn my hot blood to ice
You seem to be my most expensive vice.
Once again I've fallen under your spell
But this time, my soul I won't sell.
So innocent poison I will spew
In hopes I have the heart and strength to turn away from you.
The rawness of emotion and words that I speak
confuse, empower me, hold me captive with the hold you have and the havoc that it wreaks.
I've got to learn to see you in a different light
let the past wounds heal and the set the wrongs right.
you broke my heart once already, will I ever learn?
Why for your love do I still yearn?
I don't want your embrace,
I don't care that you fell from grace
What draws me back when you call?
I'm once again that little girl, by you enthralled.
I'm playing a dangerous game, if you only knew.
But those things never seemed to phase you.
Then or now I'm lost in a reverie, driven to distraction
stuck in the reverseless past, examining my actions.
I need to turn from you
this is true and the right thing to do.
I need to honor my vows and remember why we gave our hearts, bodies and souls to another
and recall why we cannot be with each other.
First loves die hard, I'll carry your secret torch until i die.
I'll always just wonder why.
Copyright © Michelle Morningstar | Year Posted 2016
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