Notes About The Poem

Ghazal Form Contest   Sponsor:  Sotto Poet

                    January 17, 2024

Please Don't Look Away

Your smile was one of innocence before you looked away.
Was that a bit of fear in your eyes as you looked away?

For a month you served me breakfast every morning,
but tawny eyes never meet mine again; they turn away.

Cinnamon blush painted your cheeks as if by artist's brush.
I saw your hands tremble before you quickly moved away.

What I would give to see you smile as you did the first time.
No price too dear, for it hurts my heart when you sidle away.

The sun shines when I see you. Is there something I could do
that would sway you to talk with me instead of stepping away?

I'm not one to offer a sweet cliche' that's used too often.
I'm afraid you'd just bow your head and keep walking away.

I don't know your name but I heard someone call you, Brooke.
If you would once more look at me, I couldn't be pried away.

I'll show respect for your demeanor by avoiding your eyes.
Forgive me if I make you feel uncomfortable. I will stay away.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 2/6/2024 11:23:00 AM
Back with congratulations, Lin! So happy to see this poem at the top of the winners list! Your words really conveyed the pain and uncertainty of your would be lover! Well done! Blessings!
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Lin Lane
Date: 2/7/2024 5:03:00 AM
Hi Sam, and thanks a bunch for returning with your supportive thoughts.
Date: 2/6/2024 9:56:00 AM
Good one... Congratulations on your win dear Line. I enjoyed this Ghazal. Blessings
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Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 2/7/2024 5:03:00 AM
Thanks so much, Paghunda.
Date: 1/30/2024 12:15:00 PM
A soul so torn by love, Lin. You have articulated this tortured, unrequited lover perfectly - pacing and anxious. This story unfolds in such fluidity from stanza to stanza. Best wishes for the contest. Blessings and a hug!
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Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 1/30/2024 12:39:00 PM
I know. Poor guy. He was enamored. It’s fun to write from the make perspective occasionally. Thank you very much, Sam. .
Date: 1/17/2024 10:51:00 AM
Nice Ghazal. You can compete with famous Ghazals in Persian and Urdu. Well penned.
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Lane Avatar
Lin Lane
Date: 1/17/2024 11:11:00 AM
That's quite a compliment, Jay. Thank you. Sometimes I enjoy writing from the prospective of the male point of view.
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