Please Don't

His Version of Mail It Please don’t question yourself, please don’t give me a second thought, who am I to live in your mind after all of the turmoil I brought? Believe me you don’t want to do this, you don’t want to unleash this beast, the one hiding underneath the exterior of my heart's keeper, what is now my peace You’re right there will be some backlash probably more than you can imagine coming your way, I am trying to deter you but if this is the way you want to handle this, then go ahead and have your say I know that you’re trying to be gentle but at the same time a little abrupt, she isn’t even aware that you exist because I haven’t told her such What good would it have done then or now to dredge up the past? We couldn’t be together then, so now you wish not to let this pass? You have already slapped me in the face when you wrote to me the truth revealing every scar to me that I placed upon your broken heart, and now you wish to slap her as well, aren’t we taking this a little too far? You’re right, she doesn’t deserve the pain that she will receive, all because as you, she once fell in love with me You don’t deserve this either, the truth is that you never did, but I am happy and content with my life now why has it come to this? I know you’re ready to answer all of her questions as you can imagine I’m sure that she will have more than a few, and myself I will just stand there with my head hanging down knowing there is nothing that I can do My past, the past that I once wanted with everything inside of me, has dug itself up out of it’s grave and has come to collect on its grief I won’t know whose eyes to look into or if I should even look at all, one will be ready to murder me and the other just sadness from being meant to feel so small I know that you don’t wish to hurt her, but can’t you see that you’re hurting me? I guess I have no right to ask you to stop after the way I made you bleed But why should another get hurt especially after all of these years? Was the secret just too hard to keep? She doesn’t deserve the truth behind all of your tears She doesn’t need to know the specifics, that you were the one who held my heart in that time, she doesn’t need to be reminded of all of these past discrepancies of mine She doesn’t need to envision me standing there holding you inside of my arms and picture me looking into your eyes, although it also isn’t fair to you that you see this every day of your life Please don’t tell her about the slow dancing with you there in the dark, where I played music for you by the beating of my heart Please don’t entail how your lips so sweetly touched mine, she doesn’t need to know that I had never tasted anything so divine Please don’t convey to her that I loved you unlike I had ever loved before, don’t tell her that I wrote to you every day promising you a lifetime of kisses and love and so much more Please don’t tell her that I cried to you, that leaving you broke my heart, she doesn’t need to know that you walked away and selflessly let me go because for me it was just too hard Please don’t try to make it better by telling her that she won in the end, because she ended up with a watered-down version of the man that I was to you back then So please don’t tell her that I miss you, that I still long to look into your eyes, please don’t put this burden on her or me, I am truly sorry, I wasn’t right Don’t tell her that you hope she sees the man that you once loved with your whole heart, because that is a slap in the face to her because I have never for her played that part Please just don’t mail the letter, write down all that you need to say and then set the words on fire, and let me believe that I am a better man now and not just a foolish, despicable liar.