Places You Will Never Find Me

PLACES YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME At any rap concert for fun, At home watching a Merv Griffin re-run, Singing bawdy drunken choruses of “There once was a nun”, Under an expensive suntan machine, In a sushi bar, eating fish, marine, At the Diamond Jubilee garden party for the Queen, At a catwalk with scowling skeletons as fashion artists, Behind a booth-curtain voting for some racists, In an East Lansing fundraiser for NRA activists, On a golf course - because I’m below par, Visiting Australia - because it’s too far, Driving coast to coast - no car, In British Columbia (ever again) - too wet, In Mexico, Brazil, Angola - too hot, Jogging in the NYC marathon - not fit, too fat.