Pinched

I pinched my coworker on St. Patrick's day for not wearing green. I thought it was funny but she thought it was obscene. She charged me with sexual harassment and assault and battery. When the cops slapped the cuffs on, I realized that it wasn't funny. I tried to run from the cops and they used tear gas. Then they pulled out their sticks and they beat my ***. I no longer pinch people on St. Patrick's day even though it's fun. If you pinch somebody and they call the cops, you had better run.