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You want to know about it
The bad memories, the pain
Ok just wait for a bit
Ill have to jig it out my brain

It happened in the middle of May
Glen my friend was off to Spain
I remember it was a sunny day
A few months before I dated his sister Jane

“Come around please, pet sit”
“Jane and I will be gone five days”
“It will be only for a little stint”
“The dogs just eat and want to laze”

So off I go up the hill, House No 7
A beautiful mansion, the best on the road
You could almost feel as if you were in heaven
With a gate that had a 6 digit code

An eloquent man answered the door
Handed me the leashes and said he’d be back a five
“Don’t surprise them” and he said no more
I heard the car as it left the drive 

Sniff, Sniff, then, it happened

A huge black object almost snapped off my nose
I caught the rottweiler by the skin of it neck
The chiwawa was dangling from my nuts and my hose
I screamed colourful words but for you I’ll use “What the heck”

I could not let go as I kick the rottweiler in the nuts
It squealed, then growled it went wild
I punched it as hard as I could right in the guts
Then I ran upstairs with a chiwawa hanging screaming like a child

I dove through the upstairs window to the grass 
With a chiwawa squeezing my bits
But this time with a rottweiler attached to my arse.
The  rottweiler landed first with me on top as we hit

I suffered a broken collar bone, a leg and an arm
The rottweiler was out but the chiwawa was hanging on
I didn’t think the chiwawa would cause so much harm
Till I ripped it from my loins and with my good arm threw it far and long

I fell on the ground in pain, I thought this was the end
And as if a miracle an angel stood sent from heaven
It was the familiar face of Glen my trusty friend
He said what you doing at no7 we waiting at no 11.
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