Pet Rocks Don'T Snore
Pet Rocks Don't Snore
Every ten years or so I rewrap my pet rock
In tin foil to keep it safe and secure
Then place it back in freezer storage
Unwanted guests visit after midnight sometimes
They steal my rock from cold storage while I sleep
Night stalkers think, it is a roll worth buttering and eating
Place it in the microwave to thaw it
But it won’t thaw
At breakfast they complain to me
I tell them to dip it in their coffee
Go ahead! Dunk it! Dunk it some more! I say
After breaking teeth
A dentist visit is in order
Unwanted guests leave my rock in peace
Learning it is not a treat
Pet rocks don’t go to war
More importantly, they don’t snore
They are kept in the refrigerator
That is what pet rocks are for
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