Pet Fish

My pet fish walks too slow In fact it does not walk at all It does not walk on water or walls It will not skydive or mountain climb I suspect it of criminal malfeasance Fishy activity like swimming is suspicious Open and shut gills prove the point Fish have no hands or feet So guilty as charged Is fishing a misdemeanor? Are fish involved in water sports? They don't drink beer or smoke They hide in oceans Fish lips make kissing noises Pretending to tell you secrets Have they forgotten English? Why are goldfish orange? Why not yellow or gold? (Hence the name) Is there something I'm missing? Is something wrong with fishing? Fish never look you in the eyes Theirs are situated oddly on the sides Heads bobbing left to right Do goldfish cry? One lap around the bowl and they forget Your name and there's a distant memory What kind of friend is that? I can't pet my fish for many reasons One of them being it is already pet There are rules lest you forget Why do goldfish die? I feed them all my M&Ms They melt in the mouth Not in the water If they are such good friends Why do we flush them down the toilet?