Perhaps

I am not sure I feel pain anymore Perhaps it is the numbness in my soul Stricken by the frailty of my heart That has mercilessly been an object Of exhibition from dry bones Perhaps it is the gruesome discord Between reality and my will to accept That failure is not only for the faint That it is also a subject of vicious patterns That slowly engulfs a vivacious mind Like the early stages of a malignant tumor Saints wonder why my heart never bleeds Perhaps no blood runs in my veins anymore Only the colorless liquid from morning dew That hugs my skin with fresh new dawn Yes perhaps the hope of yesterday Will be my rhythm for a new tomorrow Perhaps the epilepsy in my life will pass Yes, it will disappear like a fleeting dream Friends ask why I don’t cry anymore I tell them it is not the stiffness of my heart But the pain beyond endurance in my soul A pain so excruciating it can handle no tear Perhaps I must live so others can live beyond Perhaps I must fight that others may win the battle Perhaps I must catch a glimpse of glory bright Perhaps I must blink away the restless winds That others may settle in the bliss of heavenly truth Heavens asked why I pray no more Perhaps my life can no longer be a museum of eternity Yet at the same time be manipulated By short circuits of shame and outright rejection Perhaps the bullets of abrupt loss Have left too any holes in my life Perhaps my heavenly possession is more abstract Perhaps I am not sure what to tell daddy anymore Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day And perhaps tomorrow will never come Perhaps I will wake up one morning And all this will be but just another dream They all ask why I am always smiling Perhaps it’s the little girl in me That never lost her innocence and simplicity Perhaps it is the little voice in me That always wants to sing jingle bells for Christmas Perhaps it’s the little faith in me That still wants to see the promise of heaven Perhaps I am still waiting for the best of times Perhaps I am the best of times