Perception

Your body gets tense, you start twitching Your mouth keeps opening, as if to ask something But instead you just start babbling Talking about everything and nothing Making jokes and acting foolish To make it seem like you're not anguished Your thoughts going a thousand miles per hour Your face distortioned, by the pervertedness Of a way of being, towards which, people have acceptance You look at them and you judge, What gives you the right to look down on them? What if I were to tell you I was part of them? Would you still think they should all be condemned? I would always take their side and you didn’t know why I wanted to tell you but you would just deny The truth about the words coming out of my mouth I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry Or just dig my own hole, and in it die I had known for years And each year it would amplify But I continued to falsify The truth about my sexuality Just so you could, in your ignorance, continue to love me But why was it up to me to hide? To not be able to have pride About the broadside of my life It is a part of who I am It is part of who I am ! NO! It is who I am! Why can't I just say it without fear of being denied The right to be happy and not have my tastes defied After a certain point in time, I could no longer bare, to look at you glare And swear at people that had that particular "flare" I sat you down & told you both I could feel my heart wanting to pound out of my chest My soul wanting to leave my body in fear of being supressed By the anger and disappointment expressed By the people who always said to love me unconditionally From then on, they barely ever held me I could always feel them looking down on me And treated me as if I was something ugly Something so repugnant to the eye That you had to look away From then on, it was a choice, my choice! It was only something of the moment, a phase! Because that was not the way I was raised Their denial was the worst part They would not speak to others about it Like if of me, they were ashamed A part of my life was put aside And along went my pride Every night to fall asleep, I cried The last thing I said to my parents Was to accept me as I am... Or let me go Now mom and dad I tell you What if I were to tell you I was part of them? Would you still think they should all be condemned? Because I want to be able to openly say Yes! I am gay!