Park Life

The ants and the beetles were all celebrating As I wed the spider that I had been dating And soon sixteen legs would be consolidating I could say eighteen but that’s exaggerating But all of a sudden the ground was vibrating We tried to get clear but the plants were gyrating We made for a drain with a safe metal grating To hide from the beast and it’s red armour plating We froze at the passage the beast was creating By severing grass with its twin blades rotating In fear of our lives we then started debating To run off together or try separating A not so near miss meant I’ll never be mating Sometimes the obvious doesn't need stating At least while my wife finds that rather frustrating I won’t be her lunch when we’re done consummating We tried to escape with some skilful pond skating It helped that the air machine wasn't aerating But there was a fountain that was agitating The surface too much which was infuriating I turned to the man and began contemplating If spiders could ever do human castrating But soon he was done and he started inflating A pool with a puncture, he found that deflating Reward and his effort were not correlating And that made him mad, made him start salivating And just when we thought that he might be fixating His face went all blank and his eyes were dilating He glared at us spiders, his ire not abating So we thought it best to be reciprocating But he had a brick in his hand elevating I’ll tell you right now, that was not constipating Perhaps it’s now time for some quick relocating This isn’t the fate I was anticip.....