Paranoid Schizophrenia

How can I help her when she doesn't want help? She's content with living this way No one can help her, not even herself Her mind is her enemy but maybe not today Paranoid Schizophrenia, I can't imagine how it feels Trusting no one but yourself and your kids can be hell Her thoughts recede to her past; Her mind, it reels She distorts what has happened to what is happening; she simply cannot tell I wish I could go back to when she was small I would pick up the pieces and become the mother she never knew I would build up defenses. ever so tall And I would never let them hurt her; I would tell them their reign was through Her step-mom was evil inside and out Her father just sat by and let that disaster continue She would beat her, mistreat her, degrade her no doubt If I could've I would've, But now what could I do? This beautiful soul, oh what a beautiful find She fought for her kids; gave them everything she never received For a long time, no one knew that she struggled with her mind She held on for so long until it was time that she grieved Her real mother moved out of state left her for another But when she finally forgave her, memories would appear She wished that her mom could've been more than a distant mother But instead, she raised two kids of her own with a new love she held so dear She raised them, she praised them, she was patient and kind She had the personality I strive for each and every day She was loving and giving despite her paranoid mind She is a mother to me and my brother and I am thankful in every way At the end of November 2013, her real mother passed away She did not get to grieve, for she lost her husband in December She's still trying to get through it, even today I will never forget the sorrow; I will forever remember My father had always been the rock; solid ground that she needed Losing him shook us to our core; a pain I never knew And that's when I lost her, that beautiful soul, her mind didn't want to believe it She slowly distorted those thoughts and they became untwined through and through On December 9th I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl My mother loved her as if she were her own But it was then her memories started to unfurl Distortion, absorption, her thoughts became all that she had known Some days she's happy but other days her fury becomes her Anger, resentment, feelings she never truly got to display If I could go back to my childhood; back to that little girl I would tell her she's perfect despite her dismay I would hold onto her; never fight or fuss I would drown out her silent sorrow wipe away all of the hidden tears She was and is the perfect mother; I am so thankful she created us And despite the pain I am feeling today, I am grateful for all of the beautiful years