Parade

He is coming again. I can always feel when he is on his way because my heart starts to race and I feel the fear. The fear of soldiers busting in. People being murdered by clowns while I dance like the Joker in a Green man suit. Fear of the outside world betraying me With it's reality while my clock stops and laughs at me. I start to shake and he knows I am struggling. My stomach knots and a wave of sheer terror has an axe in my door. Music throws confetti at me and the hair on my arm makes me breathe funny. I think I might get sick. I reach for the wastebasket but my arm is stuck in the wall. My emotions escape me except the fear who sits like a parrot on my arm tangled in the hair. Today is tomorrow and yesterday is next week. Life is grinding to a halt inside a house that is not mine. Someone else lays in my bed and pretends to be me. It is him and he is wearing Joaquin Phoenixes head. This has to stop. It needs to be fixed. I put on my green man suit and crawl into my arm hair and wait for the end. It never comes but it's morning and It starts again.