Paper-Thin Defense
They ask if I’m split down the middle,
"Is it fifty-fifty?" "Do you like me?"
As if loving is solving a puzzle,
As if picking one side sets me free.
"Oh, you’re just confused," so they whisper,
"You’re just picking a lane for the night."
If I walk with a guy, I’m a fake to the world;
If I walk with a girl, I’m a target in sight.
Too straight for the *****, too gay for the rest,
Shut down from both sides of the fence.
In high school, every hallway's a test,
Where holding a hand takes defense.
You hear the quiet side-eyes in class,
The rumors that echo down the hall,
The laughter that follows when you pass,
The pressure to be nothing at all.
People complain that gay girls "talk too much,"
Like it’s all that we bring to the room—
Ignoring that silence was forced for so long,
Ignoring the weight of the gloom.
We talk because we were forgotten,
We speak so we’re not erased,
We shout because quiet meant hiding away
In a world where we're constantly erased.
I went years keeping every secret locked down,
Walking the halls, letting nothing overflow.
I was madly in love with one of my best friends,
And I suffered, and never let it show.
Sitting beside her in the back of the room,
Wishing I could just tell her the truth,
Hiding a heartbreak inside of the bloom,
Learning how heavy it is to be youth.
Because being a gay girl in high school means learning to flinch,
Getting shut down again and again,
Paying a tax just for having a heart,
Wondering where the defense should begin.
No, I’m not confused by my spirit,
And no, I’m not asking to fight.
I’m just exhausted from pleading my case,
From defending my basic right.
I don't need a permission slip just to exist,
Or a single neat box I must choose.
I just want a voice that is heard without noise,
And a heart with no point left to prove.
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
