Papa

For most my nights I use to cry myself to sleep and drench my pillow with tears Because I was always haunted by one of my biggest fears Which was waking up a another day and you wouldn’t be her Some nights I even thought about killing myself hoping that would be my cure But then it wouldn’t do me any good because then I wouldn’t have you So I just lie down and cry because I worry and that’s the only thing I can do There have been some close calls and it left me permanently scarred and broken And even though you tell me not to worry the pain already soak in So each time the ambulance takes you away with speed as they rush That makes me scared of losing you and that makes my insides crush Because without you there will be no me, you are the air I breathe You created the seed and gave this life to me My heart is scattered but I promised you, I will try my best to deal with it, I swore But each time that you are in pain, I am hurting twice much more So that’s why sometimes when you go to the hospital, to me they won’t say But they don’t have to tell me you’re in there because the way you feel, I feeling the same way And although I really try my best to stand tall and not show it Anyone who looks deep into my eyes, they already know it People even call me the day dreamer because I always stare out and think I call my heart the titanic because every day it feels like it’s going to sink But I know you been through a lot and I just wish that I can take the pain for you And I know you don’t want me to think this way but what else can I do Just sit here and watch you hurt and feel all that horrible pain Well that just shatters my whole body and makes me want to go insane Because I have to leave it up to the hands of the doctors and to them I’m thankful They take good care of you and when you get out the hospital I’m joyful I just worry so much that it feels like I’m broken and my heart is melting like a candle But papa you are so strong and tough and most the pain you already know how to handle I am just your baby so I know that you would feel the same way if you were in my shoes To see your daughter hurting and your hands were tied because there is nothing you can do I just wrote this poem to let you that I feel what you are going through And express the feelings that I had bottled up but mostly to show you how much I love you