Pain Self-Inflicted

I try not to let myself ask:
Would I be happier if you’d walked away?
If you didn’t turn around
If you’d gone another way

I try to just complete my tasks:
Be happy, be kind, be satisfied
but something seems to be standing in my way
A Shadow - cast upon the wall from a tinged vanity mirror
screaming aloud all my fears
I’m not afraid of dying alone
I’m just afraid of letting go

The moon spilling through the blinds is our only light
It’s too dark for you to see me - 
crying - ever so silently
I don’t know what I want
but I don’t need to not be alone
I’d rather rot in my corner than venture out into the world
and risk someone smelling the staleness of my soul
rotten, old
dead and cold
better off where you’d left me,
unable to hurt anyone else
when it’s just me 
alone
no one’s wrists to cut but my own
A pain I deserve
from a sadness unjustified
from reading too much into the lines
a pain self-inflicted
by a mind broken and twisted
to this blood -
I am addicted
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

Poem

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