Pain Poem

Marian Kaye 2012 The Elements of Pain at Midnight Can I be perfunctory about pain? The sound of rain begins… Having never had much pain Old age brings opportunity Why I wonder Why explore the wonder? It’s suspicious the way I hesitate The cringe, the whine, the question and then No embrace, just rejection I sense a fellow creeper accompanying the rain Still I haven’t come to the center of the experience I lay there wondering about my reluctance To be like Him Whose presence is divine deliverance? We celebrate, congratulate each other, revere, and even fear And I was wondering about the character of Small, little, even miniscule tethered and sharp teeth Threatening more The promise before craziness sets in The knowledge is a pre-emptor state that shakes me I am awake There is no plan, no rain There is no sacrifice embracing pain Mom carries it floating on waves of time She is laying there- prone and bone in place A sweet secret smile on her grim face We cannot fix the reminder of pain We try to embrace We hold her- strengthening soothing way Yet our own pain is elusive- we hold back Both hands out only to fall without grace Like a child flying off a bike We cannot tell pain to go-take a hike! Still- I haven’t reached back to where I was in the center Is that on the operating table? I awoke with Domer on my mind Wanting to erase the suggestion of even going there The nightmare bad guy vs our friend Jesus There is fear and trembling even physical pain Bleeding from every pore Think of His choices There is no comparison with mom or a dream Or the real world psychotics plotting Another’s pain We cannot put two arms out resisting change And stopping the window, the well the witness of pain Still is there a center where one can rest Where the tunnel of darkness is absolute Where there is trust and truth Where assurance smells damp and one knows faith and pain stops Is then this the center? Where we forget how we arrived and We begin to believe We see the light at the end of the day The tunnel retreats Our pain gives way A child’s eyes are wide with surprise Our delight we embrace the child of pain The tears, the night, in the dark a tender rain