Pain - My Kryptonite -
Pain has never scared me
The chance of a cut or scrape never once made me wary
Watching the blood rush to the surface following a freshly scraped knee
When I was little, first intrigued me
As time moved on pain took new forms
Evolving from nicks and bumps to aching emotional sores
Though the threat of a new gash to my soul
Did not slow me down as I went down and down the rabbit hole
New people, new faces, I let them all inside my heart
Even after it was shattered, crushed, and ripped apart
One relationship after another, hoping one would do better than the last
Desperately hoping the pain would drown out my past
The suffering boils over to a blade against my skin
Not from surgery by a doctor, but my own masochist fruition
Thinking causing more pain would dull out the rest
When all it really did was place a heavier burden on my chest
Though now those moments have come and gone
Pain still draws me with its sweet lulling song
I am a true "glutton for punishment" as they say
Living life with the motto of all work and very little play
Pain that once haunted me I now revel in
It is different you see when I safely let the bruises bloom against my skin
No more mental anguish I am trying to release
Just the gentle caress of pain chaperoning me to peace
Once upon a time, I abused it to cope
Now I use it to bring myself nothing but hope
Copyright © Ava Thomas | Year Posted 2021
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