P T S D- My Enemy

Each and every day I have people judging me But they don't understand Why I have P.T.S.D I have sudden bursts of anger But I’ll do you no harm It suddenly envelops me I don't mean to cause alarm When I suffer flashbacks They seem all too real Past events come back to haunt me Though my fears I will conceal I suffer sleep disturbance So I’m tired all the time I fall asleep mid-conversation I'm worn-out, is it a crime? Sometimes I feel like I’m in a film And I’m not really here I feel like I am a puppet My P.T.S.D the puppeteer I startle very easily So make sure I know you're there If you evade my line of vision Make sure I am aware I have intrusive images Of events from my past They dominate my memory I have to rest till they have passed I have problems concentrating When watching the TV When you come to see me I give you the third degree Asking you what happened On my favourite TV show You say that you don't watch it So I never get to know I suffer from survivor guilt Questioning life after death I blame myself for not being there When you were breathing your last breath My nightmares are so real I only hope you knew The day you passed away My heart it broke in two Writing down these words Has been cathartic beyond belief My P.T.S.D was triggered By the onset of my grief